JOKES
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
“Don’t worry,” said the auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”
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A man got his house painted. When the painters were done they handed him the bill. He was surprised to find that the painters were not charging him for paint, just labor. He asked them, “You did a great job, why didn’t you charge me for paint?”
The painter replies, “Don’t worry about the paint, it’s on the house.”
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A man went to a job interview. The first thing they told him was “We are looking for somebody responsible.”
The man replied “I’m just the man you’re looking for. At my last job every time anything bad happened they told me I was responsible.”