A man went to a job interview. The first thing they told him was “We are looking for somebody responsible.”
The man replied “I’m just the man you’re looking for. At my last job every time anything bad happened they told me I was responsible.”
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Little boy asks his mom if he can have some animal crackers. His mom gives him a box of crackers and tells him he can have a few. His mom leaves and comes back in a few minutes finding all of the crackers on the floor with the boy looking through them. His mother asks “What are you doing son?”
The boy replies “It said don’t eat if the seal was already broken. But I can’t find a seal!”
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A man got his house painted. When the painters were done they handed him the bill. He was surprised to find that the painters were not charging him for paint, just labor. He asked them, “You did a great job, why didn’t you charge me for paint?”
The painter replies, “Don’t worry about the paint, it’s on the house.”