Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
A. They can’t stand fast food.
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Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?”
Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a cake’!”
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Tom walks into his boss’ office and tells him, “Sir, I know things are going the best around here but I have three companies that have contacted me recently. I would like a raise.”
His boss agrees and after debating the amount for a while they agree on a 5 percent raise. When Tom gets up to leave his boss asks him, “What companies contacted you?”
Tom smiles and says, “The cable, electric, and water companies.”
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Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls the emergency immediately. The operator says: “Can I help you sir?”
The man replies: “I think my friend is dead! Send an ambulance! Bus what should I do?”
The operator replies: “Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is really dead.”
There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on the line and tells: “Okay, he is dead for sure. What now?”