JOKES
A man is sitting on his porch when he notices two workers working down the road. They both have shovels. One of them digs a hole and the other immediately fills it in.
The man watches them for a few hours and finally approaches them, “You guys look like you’re working hard. But I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish.”
One of the workers replies, “Well there’s usually three of us, but the one that plants the trees is sick.”
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Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, “Oh, look! A nut!” The second squirrel jumped on it and said, “It’s my nut!”
The first squirrel said, “That’s not fair! I saw it first!”
“Well, you may have seen it, but I have it,” argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, “You shouldn’t quarrel.
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A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together. They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage.
When it’s the barber’s turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor.
When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says “How stupid is that barber? He’s woken up the bald man instead of me.”