A man called his child’s doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?” The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen.”
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A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says, "You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I’m looking for the seal.”
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Friend A: "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?”
Friend B:  "He wants to be a garbage man.”
Friend A: "That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”
Friend B: "Not really. He thinks that garbage men work only on Tuesdays.”
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A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?”
"You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams.”