Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Student: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow.”

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Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

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Son: I can’t go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don’t feel well
Father: Where don’t you feel well?
Son: In school!