Patient: Doctor! Help me please; every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
 Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
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Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?"
Students: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the white sheep give you?"
Students: "Mutton!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Students: "Homework!"
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Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Scandalized, the man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!"
"Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"