A man went for a job interview. The first thing they told him was: “We are looking for somebody responsible.”
The man replied: “I’m just the man you’re looking for. At my last job every time anything bad happened they told me I was responsible.”
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A motorist is speeding down the road when he is pulled over. The officer tells him: “Sir, do you realize how fast you were going?”
The motorist replies: “Yeah I know, but I have to go.”
The cop interrupts him: “Not so fast. You’re going to have to wait for the chief to get back in a few hours.”
The cop immediately takes the man to jail. After a few hours the cop tells the man: “You’re lucky, the chief is on his way back from his daughter’s wedding, he’ll be in a good mood.”
The man replies: “I doubt it.”
The cop snaps back: “Why do you say that?”
The man replies: “I’m the groom!”