A woman goes to her lawyer and tells him, “I want to divorce my husband.”
The lawyer says, “Do you have any grounds?”
She replies, “Yes, we have a few acres. But there’s nothing valuable on it.”
He says, “That’s not what I meant, do you have a grudge?”
She replies, “Yes, that’s where I park my car.”
The lawyer becomes angry at this point, “Why do you want a divorce?!”
She replies, “We have trouble communicating.”

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A man’s boat is going down in German waters. He radios for help. On the other end he hears, “Vat is vrong?!”
The man replies, “I’m sinking! I’m sinking!”
The radio shouts back, “Okay! Vat are you sinking about?”

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A truck driver is delivering some penguins to the zoo. But his truck breaks down in a dessert near the zoo. Luckily, a pickup truck soon comes by. The driver flags him down and hands him $300 saying, “Take these penguins to the zoo.”
A few hours later he sees the same guy heading the opposite way with the penguins still in the back. He yells at the man, “You were supposed to take them to the zoo!”
The guy replies, “I did, but we had money left over so we’re going to the movies.”