Two women are walking and one of them pulls out a makeup mirror. She is stunned saying “There’s a face in there. She looks so familiar.”
Her friend grabs the mirror, looks in it, and says “You’re such an idiot. That’s me!”
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A tree walks into a bank and asks for a loan. The teller says, “You’ll have to speak to our branch manager.”
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Little Johnny’s teacher asks him, “If I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?”
Little Johnny replies, “Seven!”
His teacher asks him again more slowly, “If I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?”
But again Little Johnny replies, “Seven!”
Next she asks, “If I get two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would I have?”
Little Johnny replies, “Six!”
“Good Job Johnny! Now if I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?”
Johnny thinks for a second, “Seven.”
His teacher gets mad, “Johnny, where do you get seven?!”
Johnny replies, “You gave me six cats, and I already have a freaking cat!”