Q: Why is the morning of January 1st the laziest morning of the year?
A: Everyone has been sleeping all year.
Q: Why do car company executives have such great memories?
A: They recall everything.
Q: What’s the best way to choose a mattress?
A: To sleep on it.

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A schoolgirl’s father found out her password was "Snow White and the seven dwarfs.” When he asked her why, she replied, "They said it had to be 8 characters long at least.”

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Two women are walking in the forest when they spot a forest fire. The first one starts to put her running shoes on and the second one tells her "There is no way you can outrun the fire.”
The first woman replies "Don’t have to... I just have to outrun you.”