A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
“Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a huge failure.
In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
In Asia they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
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A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.”
A student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
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An old teacher asked her student: “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?”
The student replied: “It is obviously past.”