Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
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A man to a psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?”
The psychiatrist replies: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.”
The man smiles: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.”
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A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: “Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.”
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.
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Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager!”
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”